struggling....

.....I'm bearing all people......I'm content with my weight right now and that scares me......I'm having trouble getting re-motivated.......I'm falling back into the groove of snacking at night, and that scares me.  It just goes to show that losing weight is really a battle and probably will always be a battle for me, sadly.

Just sayin'...............

..........oh, and crab walks kicked my butt tonight at CrossFit.  I'm still shaking and starting to feel the soreness.......I guess that's one good thing about today........we'll not even think about the 6 chocolate chip cookies and goldfish I ate today.

Biggest Loser Weigh-In Week #6

Previous week's weight: 169
This week's weight: 169

I realize....

......that I've had quite a ride on my weight-loss journey.  We've been changing our family's habits since January 2009 when I weighed-in at 214 lbs.  Over the span of 2 years (geez, has it really been that long?), I've lost 45 pounds just from being more active and changing some of the things that our family had a habit of eating.  It might not seem like a lot of weight, and I didn't lose it in 2 or 3 months like some superstars out there, but you know what, I've been happy.  I've eaten well, I've indulged on my favorite snacks now and then, I've enjoyed our family outings with yummy food, and I've learned that I'm stronger than I think.

By now you all know that I joined a gym called CrossFit in August 2010 and it was then that my body really did a 180.  I shaved inches off almost everywhere and my hubby thinks I'm hotter than ever ;)

Then, this past week I struggled.  I struggled bad.  I hit a wall in my weight loss, and when I hit that wall all I wanted to do was emotionally eat.  And some nights I did, not overly so, but I did.

I don't want this post to sound like I'm giving up, or quitting in this journey........'cause I'm not.......but I do want to make it clear that I'm sick of restricting myself from everything that I and my family love to eat.  I know my boundaries, but I also know that I want to enjoy special evenings with my family.

Tonight's Friday.......we're going to the Gymnastics meet at USU.........we're snacking on peanut butter m&m's and graham cracker bites.........I'm going to enjoy myself........and then I'm going to run my little heart out tomorrow morning before my weigh-in.  Kapish.

Just so you know, I'm in so much pain right now.  This past week at CrossFit has been tough, real tough.  On Monday we did a workout called "Angie" which is 100 reps each of pullups, pushups, situps, and squats.  I cannot straighten my arms, they are that sore.  But I love being sore!  It means I'm pushing my body to the limits and strengthening my muscles.

Look how far I've come:

fat mommy versus skinny mommy!

Say hello to my hot hubby! (and don't miss my skinny neck :)

So, my son Ander drew this picture of our family and we pulled it out yesterday and my son immediately said, "Mom, I like this picture, but you're fat in this one."

Tada!!!!!!!!!!  Ander drew this picture today........I'm no longer fat........say hello to skinny mommy! (and notice that I'm the same height as my hubby!) (my husband is 6'2" and I'm 5'1", in case you didn't know)

As far as dieting goes right now, I'm at a stand still.  I keep losing weight for my biggest loser weigh-in on Saturdays, and then I gain it all back over the weekends.  Gah!!!!!!!!!  It makes me so upset and I don't know how to fix it!  If there are any suggestions I'm open to them!

Biggest Loser Weigh-In Week #5

Previous week's weigh-in: 170
This week's weigh-in: 169

changes.

So......I'm sick and tired of working my butt off all week to lose weight for my Saturday weigh-ins and then cheating so much on Saturday and Sunday that I gain it all back and am back to square one.  So, I've decided to get down to business........no more cheating all day long on Saturday and Sunday.  I will allow myself to have a treat on Saturday night and a treat on Sunday night, within reasonable calories.  I have been adding extra cardio to my workouts this week just so I can get back to my weight from my weigh-in this last Saturday.  It's working, I'm finally back down to 170, and I'm hoping to be at 169 by my weigh-in on Saturday.

I've said all along that my journey is a lifestyle change and I need to start treating it like that.

That's it.......

started the day off right.

......ran 3 miles this morning in the freezing cold......already had 5 cups of water (out of 11).......and counting calories.......I'm optimistic......I've also made a few changes (new post about that to come soon)

struggling.

Ugh.  I am really struggling to get back in the dieting mode.  Saturday was my cheat day, and it was wonderful, then I woke up this morning and had no desire whatsoever to start tracking calories again.  Ugh. I can't say that word enough because that is how I feel.  Help me!  How do I get out of this rut?

I would really love to lose 5 pounds this next week, but I know that's gonna require extra extra cardio.  I'm a little stressed, I don't know how to fit it all in......I CAN do this.....

Biggest Loser Weigh-In Week #4

Last Week's Weight: 172
This Week's Weight: 170

I felt okay going into today's weigh-in.  Kind of blah really....  I feel like I could've done a whole lot better.........so my goal for this week is to get more cardio in.  I want to run at least a mile every day.  It'll be a challenge because when I work out it is dark and cold outside and there is only one treadmill at the crossfit gym I go to.  Hopefully I'll get lucky and be able to use that 1 treadmill, if not, I guess I'll bundle up and run outside.  So, I'm super excited to get this next week started right.  I love watching the weight fly off.....well, it doesn't actually fly off, it's hard work, but well worth it!

a few words floatin' around my head today.

self-control               discipline           motivation           dedication      will-power     focus     journey   lifestyle changes       happy       excited       routine       success   

Just in the past few weeks, I have really felt like all my hard work has been paying off.  Even my hubby can tell a difference ;) always a bonus!  So....all day today, I've been fighting against my snacking craving and all these words have been going around in my head.  If I want success in this weight loss journey, I have to have discipline, self-control, dedication, will-power, motivation............I have to have a routine and I have to be focused.  What's my routine you ask?  Here's a glimpse:

6:00 a.m.-up to get ready for the day

7:30 a.m.-breakfast

8:30 a.m.-scriptures and family prayer

9:00 a.m.-kids to school

clean house, play with kids, drink at least 3 cups of water before lunch

11:30 a.m.-lunch

12:30 p.m.-lunch to hubby and son to school

drink at least 3 cups of water, play with youngest, craft, make dinner

3:30 p.m.-pick up kids from school, bring oldest to Crossfit

run home, finish dinner, pick up oldest from Crossfit, get ready for workout

5:15 p.m.-hubby gets kids dinner while I go to Crossfit

7:00 p.m.-home from Crossfit, do homework with kids, read bedtime books, hugs and kisses good night

9:30 p.m.-bedtime

See...I told ya.  I'm all about routine.  The only day I have to ditch the routine is Saturday and I am so excited for tomorrow.  The hubby and I have a date planned where we will go out to eat and enjoy movie theatre treats and popcorn.....yeah, on my day off, I go all out :)

Anyway......what words are going around in your head with your journey?  I'd love to know how you're handling the mind blocks from dieting!  

F.Y.I.

In case you're wondering......I have found that the best way to keep food out of your mouth at night is to chew one of these bad boys.  We love Orbit gum in our house.  In face, that's what I'm doing right now, I really felt like munching tonight, and it's taking everything I have to not......so I brushed my teeth, and popped a piece of gum in....it really helps to have something to chew on.

My treat night.

We went.....we enjoyed very much.....Cold Stone was the right choice for my treat night tonight!!!!!  (And don't I have the cutest boys...complete with fresh haircuts :)

Biggest Loser Weigh-In...Week #3.

Previous week's weight-in: 174
Today's weigh-in: 172

I'm pretty stoked seeming how I didn't actually follow my diet until Wednesday.  I had the hardest time with night-time snacking this week.  And then every time I would snack, I would feel like crap after.  Never again.

I usually give myself a whole day to cheat, I'm not doing that anymore.....I'm only giving myself one treat on Saturday and one treat for Sunday night (our Family Home Evening night)  Tonight's treat will be Cold Stone Ice Cream.  I have been craving Cold Stone for about 2 weeks now and today I'm taking my boys and treating us to yummies!  Tomorrow's treat is Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches (only 140 calories in a sandwich!)

So, here's to an even better week this week!

anyone curious?

A lot of people have asked me what Crossfit is.....here ya go.  This is just a little taste of the things we do in Crossfit.  I am so addicted and love every second I get to be in the gym!

Speaking of Crossfit, I've had a rockin' past couple of days in the gym.  I did 95 lb deadlifts, and then today I did 65 lb power cleans.  

To top that off, today we did a 500 meter row as fast as we could.  Back in September, I did it in 2:06......today I did it in 1:55.4!!!!!!!!!  That's 11 seconds shaved off!!!!!!

see the difference?

so.....I was just curious if I looked any different from losing weight.....

This is me near my heaviest, 215 pounds.....

....and this is me at 174 pounds....yeah, I can see the difference....ahhhhh......good......it is noticeable.

updated picture....and a little temptation.

So.....here I am in all my glory (not).  I have been getting many comments on how "fit" I am looking and that makes me feel incredible, because that's ultimately what I want, to be fit!  The two shirts I am wearing used to be very very tight on me.  I put them on this morning to surprisingly find that they were loose.........oh my gosh............LOOSE!  I feel so good!  Then, yesterday at Crossfit, I actually completely RX'd my first workout.  I did 95 pound deadlifts!  That was huge for me!  I can't wait to go to the gym tonight and see what else I have in me.  

(Last night, I did have a moment of weakness........we had frozen cookie dough and I was craving warm chocolate chip cookies.  So I made 6 warm cookies and ate every single one of them.  They were yummy, don't get me wrong, but I really need to find my self-control if I'm going to reach my goal weight.......So there you have it, I too have temptation and moments of weakness.)

But here's to celebrating my ever increasing "fit" body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!