Running awe....

It's always beautiful running in the morning in the Northwest!

My first 10 mile run....

While this 10 mile run was NOT without pain, I did it!  And I'm very proud of myself!  Granted it was a walk/run 10 mile run, but nonetheless, I'm proud!

This picture was taken at mile 5 1/2.  Hence why I still have part of a smile.  

My half marathon is in 2 weeks.  Today was my last long run before the big day.  From here on out, it's small runs.  Good thing.  I can barely move my legs, and my feet hurt something fierce.

starting over......again.....

*sigh*

*big sigh*

I hate weight.

I hate always being in a constant battle with MY weight.

I hate that I can't eat what I want, when I want....as often as I want.

I love food too much.

Let me rephrase that......I love sweets too much.

And my current weight confirms that......

I've gained back 12 pounds.  *sigh*

For the past month I've tried to get my motivation back......with no success.

Then I found out that my next military ball is the beginning of October.  Boy oh boy did that ever light my motivation.  I want to look GOOD!  Enter motivation!

So....this blog will be updated almost daily (notice I said almost)....it will keep me honest....plus I'll be posting the link on the facebook motivation page I'm a member of.

Before I sign off, I must write about my small victory today.  I was out shopping, by myself, (that's always dangerous, because I can buy whatever sweets I want and eat them before I get home.....that was a huge confession).....anyway, I walked past the candy isle, thought about buying a candy bar, but passed over it.  I kept saying to myself.....20 pounds....20 pounds....20 pounds.

And that's my goal for October 5th (the date of my military ball).....to lose 20 pounds! 

That's about 2 pounds a week.  I can do that.

Today I ate:

Marathon Snickers Bar
Banana
Apple
Mini Babybel cheese
6 fig newtons (that was a moment of weakness.....a whopping 330 calories....ouch)
sweet potato fries
grilled chicken

Time to be honest.....

Since my last weigh-in for the weight loss competition I was in, I've gained back 4 pounds. 

It kills me to even post this, but I want to be honest with myself and all of you that read this blog.

Here's my most recent weigh-in......

Wednesday, April 3rd....

In all honestly, I still feel really good about where I'm at!  I do!  And that's the reason why it's so hard to keep losing weight.  I'm so comfortable where I'm at.  I love the way I look right now! 

rantings.....

Why does weight loss have to be so mental?

Why does it take some much calculation and preparation and self-control?

I saw this quote on pinterest and it has been on my mind a lot.....

This quote both made me furious and motivated.  Is that even possible? 

I've got the exercise part down pat!  In fact, I think I'm pretty awesome at getting my workouts in every day.  Yes, I'd like to spend at least another hour a day in the gym, but let's be honest, that's not possible when you're a mother who has a lot on her plate.

It's the clean eating thing that makes me furious.  It's just so gosh darn hard to be that dedicated all the time.  It's exhausting.

Yes, I'm ranting, hence the post title.

Most days I feel like I do the best I can.......some days I fall way short and give up.......some days I just don't care.....

But I think what's most important is that I recognize that tomorrow is a new day and I can start over and keep trying.  I'm learning as I go.  I'm learning that just because some people can spend hundreds of dollars a month on fancy nutrition shakes and such, and I can't, doesn't mean I can't be successful.  I've lost 55 pounds on my own and I am so proud of that!

I'm definitely a work in progress and I don't think I'll ever have this weight loss stuff down pat. 

I'll always struggle......

But I think that's what will make me stronger in the long run.....

Final weigh-in...

This was it!  My final weigh-in in the weight loss challenge...

And guess what?  With this number....I won the Biggest Loser Weight Loss Challenge!!!  $240!!!!

I'm very happy I did the challenge, even though I had my reservations and fears.  I faced all of it and proved that I could do it!

I lost a total of 28.6 pounds!

Total of 30 3/4" lost!

Saturday Weigh-In

I missed the last 2 weeks of "saturday weigh-in".....

But, here's yesterdays weigh-in:

While I am not full of words for blogging right now, I will say this......I am so thrilled with this number!  But.....it is getting harder and harder to be disciplined and stay focused on my ultimate goal of 150 pounds.  I tend to get comfortable once I've lost a lot of weight, and that's when I start to make bad eating choices.  I do feel like I've changed my eating habits considerably, and that helps a lot.  I have been doing A LOT of cardio lately and I love it!!!! 

So, my goal for next Saturday is 159.  I know I'm aiming high, considering I allowed myself a cheat day and I'm pretty sure I gained a pound, but I know I can get down to 159.  So....here's to a lot of cardio, disciplined eating, and all of you to report to next week.